Monday, 31 August 2020

Phil May - part 9

1898 Phil May by Sir Robert Ponsonby Staples, Bt
pastel 54.4 x 70.9 cm
© National Portrait Gallery, London

Philip William May was a caricaturist. He was born near Leeds and was the son of an engineer who died when May was nine years old. May worked in a variety of jobs before moving to London, and shortly afterward to Australia, when he was seventeen. In Australia he found work with the Sydney Bulletin, and in just three years produced over 800 drawings for the Bulletin. On his return to London in 1892 May drew for the St Stephen's Review; his studies of the London guttersnipes and coster-girls rapidly made him famous. He became a regular member of the staff of Punch in 1896, and in his later years his services were retained exclusively for Punch and The Graphic.

For full biographical notes on Phil May see part 1, and for earlier works, see parts 1 - 8 also.

This is part 9 of a 22-part series on the works of Phil May:

1897 Phil May's sketch-book:
 Fifty cartoons:

Title Page

Artist. 'My good man, may I have the honour of sketching your likeness? I am Mr. Phil May'
Rustic. 'Oh ! are yer ? Then, this time you'll be Mr. Mayn't.'

'I'm glad they've got a fine day for their persession, but it'sh a thing as I don't take much intrisht in myself.'

Visitor. 'Some of your ancestors, I suppose?'
Parvenu. 'Bless you ! I ain't got no ancesters. My ancestors is all dead.'

'At Homes.'- I. Music.
 'I fear no foe.'

'At homes.'-II. Dancing.

Jones ( to Brown, who has been to a ball at Robinson's ).
'Many women there ?'
Brown. 'No; only their mothers.'

Distinguished Amateur ( who has been cast for the part of Sir Toby Belch ). 'I suppose I shall want a little padding ?'
Costumier. 'Certainly;' ( shouting ) 'Ernest, bring down a full-size stomach.'

'Oh ! that's very funny, Mr, Wagstaff. Which paper do you get your wit from ?'

'For I am a Man of the Town.'

Fat Old Party ( who for the last hour has been eating without stopping ). 'Excuse me, Miss, buy my eyesight is bad; would you mind telling me if I've eaten everything on the menu ?'

He. 'When I was in America I met the famous Mr. Edison. Of course, you've heard of him ?'
She. "oh yes! He invented the Edison Lighthouse, didn't he ?'

Old Sailor. 'Yes, Ive 'ad nearly bone in my body broke at different times - arm broke, leg broke, nose broke, thigh broke -'
Potman. ' 'Ave you ever bin stone-broke ?'

'That was an awfully funny joke you made last night. I wish I could say it was mine !'
'You will, my boy; you will !'

'Deuced funny !'

Pat ( shouting after Tommy Atkins ). 'Who shtole the cat ?'
Tommy. ' 'Oo stole yer bloomin' country ?'

'So kind and thoughtful of you to send me this little puppy. So like you !'

'Oh ! please, Missus says, will you make the knives extra sharp, 'cause we've got a chicken for dinner, and Master can't eat it if it's tough.'

German Professor. 'How beautiful everything is in Nature !'

Mean !
Conversation overheard at a Railway Station.
'Yes, Bill 'ad a quid as a present and a quid to get married with, and 'e never paid me that seven and a tanner 

'e owes me !'
( Note: a quid : a pound
seven and a tanner : seven shillings and sixpence )

Young Lady. ' Shepherd, I am told that you can tell the difference between every individual sheep. 
How do you do it ?'
Shepherd. 'Well, Miss, much in the same way as I could tell yer pretty face in a million !"
( He gets sixpence for the secret. )

Catch this bird with chaff !

'I suppose you've travelled a good deal in your time ?'...

Scene : Corridor of first-class Hotel.
Time : Seven a.m. ...

Magistrate ( to witness for the defence ... )

Rehearsing the 'Fish' Ballet.
Stage Manager. 'What are you boy ?'
Boy. 'Please, sir, I'm a whelk.'

'Give us a bite of yer apple , Billy !' ...

Sweetheart ( back from the wars ?. 
'Gracious ! how she's grown !'

Tourist. 'Fine head that child's got. He'll be a Gladstone.'
Fond Mother. 'Drat the man ! that can't be ; 

his father's a Conservative.'

Paterfamilias. 'What do you expect to be if you grow up such a dunce ?
Young Hopeful 'A masher'
( Note: masher = dandy )


'Have you ever been photographed, uncle ?'
'Yes, Tommy.'
'What for ?'

'Oh, uncle ! when I grow up, shall I have a face like yours if I'm wicked ?'

One of our Aliens.
'Do you vant to buy a thuit of clothes as vas made for the Printh of Vales ?'

Petticoat Lane.

Dauby, A.R.A. ( to lady Art-Student ). 'Yes, Miss Smith, the Old Masters used to mix their colours with brains 
in those days.'
Miss Smith. 'Oh ! how cruel !'

'Do you want a model, sir ?' ...

Tell me 'ow to do it.

At Appy 'ampstead on Easter Monday.

'I don't care for them 'ats, 'Arriet ; 
everybody's a -wearin' of 'em !'

At the Alhambra ...

'Wot sort of stone do yer call that as yer've got 
in yer ring, 'Arriet ?'
'Well ! duuno ; but my chap says as 'e thinks it's a 'Ammersmith.'

Bill's not in it when Jack's ashore,

A Vision.

The Irony of Circumstance.

A Few Parting Words of Advice.

'With a neck like that, what a fine thing it must be to be thirsty !'

A Vacation Exercise.

Sir Henry Irving.

Fred Hall
Frederick Hall (1860 – 1948), often known as (and signing his work as) Fred Hall, was an English impressionist painter of landscapes, rustic subjects, and portraits who exhibited at the Royal Academy and the Paris Salon, where he was awarded a gold medal in 1912.